Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Let’s talk about sex baby!

(pic from http://gscene.com)

Sex. We can’t live without it! Or can we? Sex is one of the most talked about topic among our homosapien community. Sex used to be such a taboo topic among the Asian community especially during the last century. Most of us learnt about sex from self-experimenting, or through our friends, magazines, television and internet, but definitely not from our parents!
(pic from http://goqnotes.com)
So what is more to talk about sex when this topic has been dissected and discussed so many times before me? Well, the answer is, we can never get enough of sex! Most of us will agree right, and for those who don’t I guess it’s time to explore and view sex differently.

Bear Sex? (pic from http://www.ilbe.com)
Today I want to talk about Bear to Bear sex, to be more specific, why most bears are only sexually interested in their own kind. How many times have we asked ourselves why the bear community is sexually attracted to similar body attributes such as beefy, stocky, muscular, facial hair, and so and so forth. Such questions will always be the first in any Growlr messages especially if we’re horny and searching for immediate sexual gratification: Are you beefy and stocky? How much do you weigh? Do you have big ass and thighs?
You smell great babe! (pic from http://www.worldzootoday.com)
The bear community has always been criticized as an exclusive group that they are only physically attracted to it’s own kind. Most non-bear chasers find it difficult to be part of the community and even more difficult to get laid by a fellow bear. Although I may seem to be making a generalization here, but the truth is that the others such as the twinks, lean fit and skinny body types just don’t seem to be able to infuse the right pheromones to attract the bears. Our honey is just not there!
lean fit vs muscle bear? (pic from http://www.sharenator.com)
The question is are we so obsessed with our own kind that we alienate the rest of the other communities in our sexual quest? Is there any truth in the assertion of exclusivity in the bear community? After combing through the world wide web and from my own personal experience, I realized that there’s no simple answer to this. I have a theory and my best guess is that it began when bear or plus size men were ostracized by the fashion and pop culture where they are never deemed to be attractive in comparison with their trendier and more popular twinks and lean fits counterparts.
I don't care how I look, I just love football!!! (pic from http://thoughtcatalog.com)
While most of the straight large men think more about their football matches and boozes rather than what’s in and what’s not or how others perceive them, the effect of not being part of the “conventional” attractiveness on the plus-size gay community I suspect is much more pronounced. Larger size gay men are never considered as the “perfect” Adonis in the global gay community at large due to the strong influence of the fashion world. I mentioned this in my previous post on how the world fashion scene does not use big men as models. Hence, different gay sub-communities were formed purely based on the physical attributes and likings of their members.
Adonis, Greek God (pic from http://commons.wikimedia.org)
So if you think about it, the continuation and repetition of this vicious cycle of ostracizing and regrouping in the bear community throughout time would eventually lead to an exclusive society where most bears will only welcome bears while shunning the twinks and other groups. In my personal opinion, this has caused the segregation of different physical communities as denoted very obviously in the Japanese gay community.
According to the 9Monsters, a social app originated from Japan for gay hookups, gay men can be categorized into 9 different groups based on their physical attributes. They are Bison, Bear, Pig, Wolf, Gorilla, Fox, Dog, Monkey and Cat! One of the main features is the revolutionary “Breeding” function. It allows you to find, A. Your type, B. Which category/monster other users think you belong to, and C. Who likes you.
Breeding with 9 monsters! (pic from http://ninemonsters.com/)
I downloaded the app about a year ago and got to know many great bears in Japan and Taiwan. The best part is that I don’t get to determine the category such as Bear for myself and it’s based on your social fans influence instead. This is great as the type of Monster that you belong to will be based on the general consensus of the 9monsters community rather than an individual’s expression.
Rock from lean & fit to huge & muscular! (pic from http://www.movie-trailers.com)
From my personal experience, I believe that for some of us, our attraction towards a particular type of physical attributes may change as time goes by. Most people didn’t know that I was once a Wolf, in terms of 9monsters definition during my twenties, and used to be attracted to men who are lean, fit and possess a 6-pack abs. However as I grew older, my taste in men evolved into a meatier, beefier and bearish kind of form. From a lean fit guy, I too have reworked my body shape and size through heavy weightlifting and overloading of calories to achieve a big, stocky and muscular Bear-look, just to get myself into the exclusive Bear community.
Me and F-buddy??? (pic from http://howtobuildmuscleforskinnyguys.com)
Although it’s politically incorrect to support such exclusive sub-communities within the gay population at large, I among many, am guilty of such action. Sexism and racism have always been discouraged and bitched about especially in this ever-evolving multiracial modern world. But wouldn’t favouriting a type or some call it preference, is another hidden agenda that is just as bad! Gay typism, a discrimination based on typification among the gay communities will enhance the exclusion between groups and can be just as hurtful and at times disrespectful especially for the chasers!
I have change from Chub Type to Muscular Type! (pic from http://musclenow.com/)
Well, I guess we don’t live in perfect world. And we don’t have any solutions here. As much as we want to be inclusive and change our likings and preference to a broader type of physical characteristic, the fact is that none of us can, even if we try. After going through my wolf to bear change, I realized that it’s almost impossible to change our mindset to be Type inclusive. My advice is to transform ourselves into our ideal type instead so that we can settle in comfortably within the community of our choice and hopefully find our ideal guy!
My secret transformation from skinny mini to fatty maxi! 
We have come to the end of another post this week, and till the next time again, this is Jimen signing out! Be happy to be yourself! Cheers!


  1. You look so much better now as a bear, in my opinion. Congrats on the transformation to the type of body that you prefer and are more comfortable with.

    1. Thanks man. Well I think so too. But I remembered that I have a different "market" when I was lean. haha. Cheers. Great blog btw!

  2. Do most chubs only like chubs and most bears only like bears? Hmmm I always thought so too.

    Till last year when I installed 9monsters. Being on the stocky side( yeah that means I have a little fat) I always thought I am a bison. But when I started, I was overwhelmingly voted as a pig!! Horrors of horrors, my perceived little fat could be self deception to make myself feeling good and marketable in the gay community.

    Hey I am no chub basher but chubs are not exactly premium in the gay community despite all that chub chasers glorifying visibility. But if I am actually a chub, so be it, que sera sera like most chubs do.

    I looked through my admirers and chasers( sounds so glamorous now that I am officially a chub). Overwhelmingly majority are chubs who say they like chubs. That was how the voting system determined I was a chub because these chubs are telling the 9monsters App that they are seeing a chub in me from their preferences.

    After a few weeks of looking and playing with the App, I got online lesser and lesser.

    Then something began to change very very slowly. When the chubs attracted to me were already counted for, the other more reserved gays were much slower to starting to come over.

    A few months down the line, viola, I turned into the bison that I thought I was supposed to be. It seemed that the chubs are more aggressive and attention seeking hence they dominated the initial responses. They are chubs liking chubs but am I considered more enticing than chubs? Is their latent true preference actually showing? Am I a preferred choice or "no fish prawn will do" kind of substitute? Haha, intriguing. But your mentioning of ostracizing of big sized guys seems to indicate a "love thyself more" self consolation.

    1. Thanks Silver for your comments. I agree that most bears will like bears and most chubs will like chubs from my own personal experience. In fact, we constantly try to maintain our image to the likings of ourselves and hence I kinda agree with your "love thyself more" narcissistic view. Cheers.

  3. your blog as a whole really speaks to me. thx. btw im a slim athletic guy who have crush on bear but dont want to be bear. so maybe im the exception of the theory mentioned above :-)