Wednesday, October 30, 2013

As Gay as the Straight Behaves!

I look gay? I don't give a damn!
I am sure most of us regardless gay or straight have made or were told one of these remarks before, "You look gay!" or "That's so gay!". I have too, in fact it was most recently in my facebook message. When that happened, I was wondering, how can a person tell from your picture whether you’re gay or not especially if you’re not dressed in androgynous clothes or decked in too many girly accessories? Or was I just too sensitive; he might be telling me that I looked happy instead. Whoa, that’s bullshit man! Don’t get me wrong; I was not upset about being gay or looking like one. It’s just that it was such an irresponsible sweeping statement that is purely based on the assessment of my picture. One good thing however was that this incident got me thinking and questioning deeper, why such term even existed in the first place.
Do I look Gay? (pic from )
Well let’s rewind back to the past. In the olden days or even during my younger days, which was in the 70s and 80s, most gays were very careful about divulging their secret of liking the same sex and definitely not that opened to the society. Of course there were exceptions. There were those who were born more effeminate and thus were more opened about their sexual inclination through their actions such as dressing up in female clothes and accessories. The stereotypical gay men were more obvious in their appearance or action during those days. Most will get taunted and even bullied, as they were not the ‘Norm’ among the society. And how about those gay men who inertly liked men but afraid to be exposed during those days? Well, they normally hid behind a masculine façade, participated in manly activities, pretending to like gals, probably even had girlfriends and eventually got married.

Proudly Gay! (pic from
Fast forward to the 21st century, and here we are. Gays now are more open and proud to display their affections and likings and pay no attention to the so-called norm of the society. Of course there are still a huge number of men who are still afraid to come out either because of the nature of their work, succumbing to the pressure of their peers and society at large.
(pic from
But the question is whether calling others or making statements like “You look so gay” or “That’s so gay” still relevant and more importantly acceptable in today's society? I know that everyone is guilty here including me of course as I remembered saying those words to others who probably behaved more feminine or those who liked and did things that are normally associated with the opposite sex.
The Metrosexual Men (pic from
Let’s dissect this a bit further. Gone were the days that one can tell whether you’re gay or not just by looking at your physical attributes and fashion styling. The term metrosexual was coined at the turn of the century because straight men were appearing gayer and definitely more vain and dressing better. Of course the fashion world did not help to “masculinize” the straight man by creating androgynous apparels and accessories for men that blurred the fashion demarcation between male and female.
Look, Charlie Sheen doing a full cross! (pic from
The other thing is that, many of us will say that if you cross your legs while sitting down, you look gayer especially if it’s a full cross or worse, a double cross. The stereotypical male is not supposed to cross his leg and even if he does, he only half-crosses where the lifted ankle is placed on the area just above the knee. As for me, I don’t have this problem: I just can’t cross my legs because of my big fat thighs are obstructing! I have been observing for a while now during business meetings or even while I was eating at restaurants, I realized that many men regardless gay or straight would cross their legs ever so often. So in this modern world can we still say that the gays cross their legs more often than the straights? How about those wearing long wispy hair, harem pants, skinny jeans and carrying man-bags? Have the straight men become gayer while the gay men become more straight?

Look mum! I have too huge thighs to do a full cross! (pic from
I have this theory, about the evolution of the gay and straight men. I think that during the early 70s, the gay men were split into two evolutionary paths. For ease of explanation sake, I called the two paths, MMG (more masculine gays) and MFG (more feminine gays). On the other hand, the straight men also were split into two evolutionary paths, MMS (more masculine straights) and MFS (more feminine straights). As time past, the MMG and MMS became more and more manly while the MFG and MFS became more feminine.
Evolution of Gay Men? (pic from
Now fast-forward to 2013, which is around 40 years later, the MFG and MFS began to merge thus blurring the so-called “gay” appearance of a male. At the same time, the MMG has become manlier than the MFS. The MMG don’t cross their legs, don’t carry man-bags, and don’t wear earrings while the MFS will just do all that and probably even more!  Hence, as some of the gays (MMG) behave and look more manly than some of the straights (MFS), the definition of the “gay” look has evolved significantly, and certainly debatable! In my personal opinion, I think it’s more appropriate to categorise a look either by its feminine or masculine traits and definitely not GAY per se.
Guess who's the straight, metrosexual and gay?
(pic from, and
Regardless whether you are feminine or masculine, straight or gay, it doesn’t really matter. What matters is don’t take these statements too seriously cause we will not be able to change the world overnight. Just take it in good stride and be a happier person. For it doesn’t matter whether you look gay or not, as long as you are yourself and feeling good about it, that’s most important! So the next time before you say, “that’s so gay” to another, pause a second because it may be as gay as some of the straight behaves. This is Jimen signing out! Be happy always! Cheers.


  1. Nothing wrongs with gay nor lesbian. They are normal as straight.
    Yup call other people "so gay" make sense. People who are sensitive will get mad.
    Wearing in style doesn't prove anything, we can just call them "Fashion".

    SUPPORT you. :)

  2. You're welcome. Have a nice day. <3

  3. Interesting post!

    To me it's definitely not right to call someone 'you look gay' 'or you're so gay', because there is a negative connotation behind such a remark. And I don't believe anyone use 'gay' to mean 'happy' anymore in this day and age, not in the context of 'you're so gay', anyway... So I don't believe you were too sensitive about it.

    I think what is usually meant behind such a remark is 'you're so feminine', which again is also unkind, because like you said it doesn't matter whether one is feminine or masculine.

    1. Thanks for your comments dude. As mentioned, I was not even the slightest upset over the his remark but more so that this incident made me think about the relevance of the usage in this modern world, and to me, it's no longer applicable. Cheers.